Owning My 'Massive Defect' Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying & Love The Bomb That Is Twilight

It's 5 a.m., give or take, on a Thursday. I'm in Jefferson City for work and can no longer sleep due to icky tummy. I refuse to watch t.v. as I haven't done so in a month and I'm obviously not going back to sleep any time soon (thanks for that either Chevy's with your crappy dinner or the makers of my script which failed to acknowledge that a person could suffer ALL the side-effects listed consecutively). Anyway, in order to pass some time I decided to add to the list of blog topics I have been compiling on my phone. Yes, I have a list, no I don't always have time to follow through. Anyway...

I decided that I should write about what my wonderful geekmate refers to as my 'Massive Defect' in taste: I like the Twilight novels. Obviously the fact that he falls within the realm of my taste buds should be enough to negate my 'Massive Defect' to nothing more than a quirk in my wiring, if not, here I am to plead my case.

Case in point: I do not classify myself as a 'Twihard'. While my office mate and I may have a couple of inserts from the soundtracks hanging up in our office, I do not, nor will I ever dedicate wall space to it in my home. I have Clerks and Mallrats posters that need to go up!! As for those soundtracks, have you listened to them? They have some really great music on them and introduced me to some good bands. Take Iron & Wine. I really liked the song they used in the movie and how if you really listened to it, you'd realize the lyrics didn't really fit the scene it was used in (sweet prom dance scene, but lyrics talk about rats pissing on magazines). I also caught them on Austin City Limits and they were fab!
As for other Twilight merch, I have a bookmark and a movie tie-in book. Both gifts. I have only spent money on the novels themselves.

Which brings me to the books and they story. These books were written for TEENAGE GIRLS. I didn't go in expecting literature. I went into expecting it to be a quick, entertaining read on the flight home from Phoenix to KC. I found the books while at the mall in Phoenix. I was making my usual stop at the Sanrio store (HELLO KITTY!), and hit up the Borders and Virgin Records. Both stores had displays for the 3rd book release of local author Stephenie Meyer. I grabbed up the first one, read the jacket and thought it'd be good for the flight home.
If nothing else, you have got to give her credit for bringing vampires out of the dark and into a bright, new, sparkly day! How refreshing for someone to take on the age-old idea of vampires and put it on its fang! She twisted a mythology that is ingrained in all of our psyches and made it something new and different. Took away all the safety nets. No longer were we protected from these virile killers by a sun's death sentence. No longer was a stake enough to keep them at bay. They had to have a conscience to not kill indiscriminately. If you take out the trivial teenage romance, what you now have is the possible horrifying destruction of man by a virtually unstoppable super being. The only, flimsy, reason vampires aren't going out during the day is so they don't show off their sparkly side - why do they care if you see them? You're about to be breakfast, I doubt you'll be able to Twitter the truth before they strike.
As if all this wasn't enough, these new, stronger, better vampires don't even need a regenerative sleep-state. They are worse than the Energizer fucking bunny! They can keep going and going and going... No more vulnerable downtime for which a bumbling drunk doctor and his lynch mob can sneak into a less than secure crypt to stake the offender through his non-beating heart! Not that it would do any good apparently, as this new breed should be ripped apart and burned in order to be sure it's decimated.

So. While Ms. Meyer has chosen the YA route for these books, instead of the grossly more appropriate Horror or Sci-Fi realms, you cannot deny she has come up with a fascinating new world for vampires. Yes, they books are somewhat pedantic and Bella as a protagonist just makes me cringe with embarrassment for all teenager girls as a whole, the premise of the story is entertaining and brings an entirely new light on the world of vampires.

BTW, my tween son can't WAIT to see Eclipse. He loves the werewolves...

The Strange World of a Faerie

Things change. That's actually constant. Very contrary, isn't it? I just went back and read all my entries since I embarked on this 'blogging' adventure. Things are very different now. For one, if you are new and read the first post, you'll be very confused by the Murvene reference as this blog was initially titled 'FaerieJ and the Murvene 5'. Hope that clears that up for you.

I've mentioned my son, he's almost 10 now and still comes up with nuggets of joy akin to the Einstein inventing science school of thought. He's still into baseball, but doesn't seem to have the drive anymore. I'm trying to get him interested in more things, he's stuck on wrestling. I love the way his mind works and am confounded by it. I don't get to be with him enough as I must share him with his father. But at least he's mine legally now, and I'll never have to worry about not having him.

In another earlier post I referenced sticking with a decision no matter how badly it's going because it always seems that to make a new one ends up worse. I'm the person who always makes the wrong choice. At least it seems that way most of the time. Until I stopped to look at what was going on with my life. Not all my decisions were bad ones. Initial decisions may have been, but corrective ones weren't after all. Some initial ones weren't either. I have a good full time job. It pays me well enough to cover my needs and supply a few wants. I work with some awesome people and we make a difference in our community. Applying for this job was a magnificent decision.
Adopting my step-son. That was the best decision I ever made hands down. The naysayers will say I did because I can't have my own. That may be a factor, but I did it because I love this child. No matter how often we but heads or how often I have to change a plan or leave work or clean up puke, he is my heart. And even if he never calls me mom to my face, I know I'm his mother and I know he knows it too.
I moved out. Got my own place. Took my life back. I made a bad decision years ago. I got some good things because of it (see above), but I got a lot of years of not being me. That was my fault. I made the decision to change me to fit into the idea I had of how I thought marriage was supposed to be. That was wrong.

Now I'm changing me back. Not exactly how I used to be. I have responsibilities to others besides just me now, but back to myself with tweaks. I'm listening to my gut again. As I thought about all this and how I was stagnated by the fact that I thought I always made bad decisions, I looked for the good ones I've made. What did they have in common? They were gut decisions. They weren't me over-analyzing, dissecting, making flo-charts for outcome. What should we all take away from this, listen to yourself. Don't let all the outside stuff factor in where it doesn't belong. Follow your gut for the changes that will be the right ones.

Reap What We Sow - BLAH BLAH

I receive this email written by 'Ben Stein' occasionally and I'm thinking a retort is needed. I've shared with others before, so if it's a repeat for you - my apologies. If you like it, please share it with others. If I actually had more than 3 people who read this dang thing, I might make it more of a priority :P My take is red.

Enjoy!

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.
Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW." Or just perhaps, it has a lot to do with people actually PARENTING their children. Could it also have something to do with our culture? Maybe the way our American culture puts the dollar above the people? Long before the Christian “Lord” was named as such and written about people still believed in a higher power. They did the things that were supposed to be done. They gathered enough food to feed themselves and they had a sense of family and community.

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. The only people who believe the world is going to hell are those who actually believe in one and that would the part of the population who believe in the Christian God and have faith in him.

Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. I don’t know who really believes everything they read in the newspapers, but just for the sake of pointing out facts: Newspapers are companies. They no longer are a service to keep people informed in an unbiased way. While many articles are written in an as un-biased manner as possible, sometimes it happens. However, when any sort of news agency, be it a printed publication or a telecast, submits a story to the public that isn’t entirely on the up and up, there is usually an outcry, a remission and a rebuttal. When inaccuracies of the Bible are pointed out, along with the fact that numerous books were left out and those in power re-wrote it to help better keep control over the populace, that is shooed away by the faithful as an attack on Christianity. Also considering that it wasn’t actually written down until at least 150 years after the death of Christ, how reliable is it? If the stories were handed down orally for thousands of years before being committed to paper, why is it any more reliable than any other sort of oral history?

Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Most jokes are just funny. People like to be humored, not preached at. Besides the fact that Christianity isn’t the only religion in the world, you don’t know what everybody believes, why offend someone? I know that most Christian faiths believe in ‘witnessing’ but come off it already. The Christians as so fractured you have more flavors than Baskin Robbins. You’ve got Baptists, Catholics (yes Catholics, you ARE Christians, you believe in CHRIST, right?), Methodists, Lutherans, etc. Maybe before you start trying to convert people by sharing the love of Christ, you all should sit down and agree on what that actually is.

Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace. Do I really have to address this sentence? It should be plain as day, obviously you can find just as much God in cyberspace and just as little lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles in school and the workplace.
Are you laughing? Actually I’m waiting for it.

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it. Actually I won’t send along anything I don’t believe in unless it has a pretty picture, or good joke that people I know might think is funny. Will I send Aunt Debbie a little Johnny joke? No, but I’ll send it to Ericka and Mom.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us. It’s not always about what other people think of us, but what we think of them. Do we want to pester them with something that isn’t their cup of tea just because it’s ours?

Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in. I won’t sit back and complain. I won’t just sit here and pass along emails on why the world is the way it is, I’ll go out and do something about it. I’ll be an informed voter. I’ll take responsibility for my kid and teach him some. I’ll put my change in the Salvation Army bucket. I’ll give my extra coats directly to those who need them. I won’t litter. I’ll mentor others. I won’t be perfect, but I’ll try hard to be a good person to others.

My Best Regards.
Honestly and respectfully,
Ben Stein (The real BEN STEIN? From Ferris Bueller, Bueller, Buller’s Day Off? Awesome! Maybe he can take some of that money he makes from tv and movies and game shows and put it to good use by making a PROACTIVE stance to better our society)

Hey Christians! Explain Abortion to Your Kids...

Don't tell them the president kills babies! It confuses them and they have nightmares about the president drowning or stabbing or shooting innocent babies. If you must indoctrinate them into your belief that killing a FETUS is wrong, then do it correctly or wait till they are older and can understand your rhetoric.

A few months ago, my 9 yr old son made a new friend. This boy is my son's age and he has a younger brother. After about a month, we invited both boys to spend the night with my son. The three of them were playing video games, I was working on the computer when I hear my child adamantly saying, "Ask my MOM, she knows. That's not true!" So, thinking I had a squabble to settle I call them in to inquire what wasn't true.

"Does President Obama kill babies?"
My face contorts, "Huh?"
"They said the president kills babies!"
"Why do you think that?"
"Our parents said so."

How to approach this? At this age children can be very impressionable, and my son is no exception. "Well, that's not true. The 'president' doesn't kill babies, your parents just must be mistaken." I, for one, am not ready to explain to my child about abortion. He is too young for information about all that. He is too young to comprehend it. And I refuse to explain it the others, that's their parent's job, not mine. The boys take my word for it and go play.

Parents, if you want to teach your children to believe as you do, please arm them with information, not dribble that can be proven false. Just as you can right now say he kills babies because he won't ban abortion, others can say that he kills mothers who would lose their lives without one if he did ban it. Currently the decision is up to the mother and she is to bear responsibility for all that comes with it.

Unfortunately, I had to explain abortion to my son, because now he was curious. Some time later he brought it up while we were driving. I explained it was a medical procedure and the different feelings people had about it. I also explained to him why it would be needed sometimes or wanted. I let him know that when it comes to our bodies, both men and women's, it should be up to that person what kind of medical treatment they get, not to the goverment. He agreed.

Shame on the Shamers!! Facebook status that is reallly peaving me off...

There is a status people are putting up on Facebook saying shame on Americans for helping the people of Haiti because there are people who need help in the US. I must respond to this!

Wow, Americans are being shamed because they donated to help a country DEVISTATED by a natural disaster. Where 100s of thousands are STILL buried in the rubble. There ARE millions of Americans that live on or below the poverty line, however there are many people who not only donate $, but also volunteer to help correct that horrible situation. What keeps our people in poverty is the government and politicians who are in special interest's pockets and the constituents who put them there. We live in a country with the mentality of instant gratification - "fix/change it NOW". The politicians who are actually trying to fix things aren't given enough time to put programs into place or those programs aren't given enough time to truly work.

I wholeheartedly agree that more can be done at home to help Americans who need it, but the way to do it is NOT to chastise those who so graciously gave to help these people, many of whom live in poverty just as those in America do. I work for an agency that's sole purpose is to help those in poverty get out of it. I, myself know the taste of government cheese, free lunch and grew up knowing the difference between a food stamp and real money. We all already give money to help end poverty in this country...it's called taxes, the problem is we don't allow our government to spend it on the programs that are needed to fight the problem. When the government wants to do something like say, oh a PUBLIC OPTION for healthcare, they are shot down by the people because it's just too 'socialist'. Never mind the fact that one bad accident can put a family in such a state of poverty that they can never escape it. People don't go into poverty because they had plasic surgery or any other kind that is 'elective', the medical bills and expenses are for needed care.

People should give money or volunteer time to help those less fortunate because it's the right thing to do. Many people feel better about donating to those who've been in a disaster in another country because the don't have to take the responsibilty for helping make an actual long-term change, such as is needed to end poverty here in America. Don't shame people for doing what's right, shame people for being greedy or turning a blind eye as to what REALLY puts people in poverty.

The Rules of Customer Service or "How To Be A Good Customer Rather Than An Ass"

Ah, the 'holiday' season! The time when people trample others to get that 'elusive' gift or deal. I work in retail part-time. I used to do it full time, but once I realized I was more angry than not and it was due to my work, I found an office job where the annoyances could be contained, or I could at least shut my door to avoid them for awhile. There is something that always has bothered me, especially since I am also a consumer. The expectations by some customers that you're supposed to wipe their asses and then thank them for the privilege. I do not, nor have I ever had to: take a surly attitude, be disrespected or have to pick up after you like I'm your maid. It is not amongst my job requirements to be talked down to, to be called names or be treated like an inferior life form because you didn't read the fine print. We live in a society were everyone is a consumer. That is not going to stop in our 'land of the free' and home of the 'American (capitalist) Dream". Threaten to take your business elsewhere, if no one at any store takes your shit, then what will you do? Will you start growing your own food? Weaving your own clothes? Doubtful. The kind of people who already do that sort of thing are already kind customers who understand that simply because they are spending money doesn't entitle them to be treated as a king would by a serf. So, here are the rules.

As an employee of a retail establishment I promise to:

• Greet you nicely and offer assistance in your purchasing venture

• Answer any questions you have to the best of my knowledge and seek out the answer if I don't know it

• Explain policies of the store such as regarding returns/exchanges, gift cards, rental accounts, special orders, etc.

• Direct you to another establishment that may have the item you are seeking if we don't have and can't get it for you in an effort to assist you even if that means you spend money elsewhere

• Keep myself aware of any specials that may be taking place in order to inform you to the best of my ability

• Ring you out at the cash register and send you off with a thank you, have a great day/holiday, or some other suitable sentiment

Your requirements as a Customer are this:

• Acknowledge my greeting and accept/reject my offer of assistance politely. If you need assistance later, please ask for it. Don't stand around not making eye contact and saying nothing. I won't know you need assistance unless you tell me so.

• Give me the opportunity to answer you or permit me a moment to find the answer.

• Accept my explanation of store policies. Do not give me the 3rd degree about why they are the way they are or about how another associate didn't follow that policy last time. I am not one of the bigwigs in corporate, I don't make the policies, it's just my job to follow them. Also, don't give me a hard time by taking up my time digressing on other establishment's policies and how they are better or different. Lastly, if you didn't adhere to a policy, that is not my fault.

• Not expect me to be your personal shopper. There aren't enough associates to do this for all customers and you are not the only one I have to assist.

• Politely tell me of a promotion I may have overlooked or not known about. Some of us may only work one or two days a week and upon coming in to work, weren't apprised of new specials due to how busy the store is or being approached by you before even clocking in

• Not yell or act as if I am trying to cheat you if the register has the wrong price. Nicely let me know there is a difference and I can correct it for you. I do not program the registers, some unknown entity in a different town does that

• Finally, treat me with respect. You may not know the circumstances of a situation and being hateful and mean will do nothing to fix any perceived injustice on your part.

No one likes to be treated like crap, especially not for minimum wage. There is also a perception that just because a person works at a retail establishment they are either a teenager/young adult or not too bright. Well I got news for you bub, I'm neither. I work part time in retail to pay for my college education. During the day I work in the finance department of a non-profit that helps people. I'm not stupid, I'm not beneath you in any way and I won't put up with your shit.